Psychosis, as defined by Merriam-Webster, is a mental illness in which the patient experiences loses touch with relation and experiences hallucinations or delusions.
I don’t like talking about what my medical file says about me with other people
and what that sort of diagnosis usually means for my personality
mostly because of how ‘psychosis’ and ‘psychotic’ are synonymous to everyone else
a day in the life of my broken brain is not unlike watching a horror film,
for my intrusive thoughts are violent and my delusions are molded by them, and
rarely do I have the ability to explain the reasoning behind these things
and it sucks because ‘psychosis’ should explain it all, unfortunately
it has not come to be that having a mental illness isn’t an acceptable ‘excuse’ –
doesn’t anyone else think it’s stupid that a diagnosis is an “excuse” to be different
of course, it could be another delusion of mine that there will a time where judgment is
forgotten, lost, dismissed, and gone based upon the mental health we’ve got
most of the time I’m not so self-conscious about my diagnosis because it is an answer
you know – like a reason for why I feel so crazy all the time
so I don’t hate that my files have me categorized and labeled,
especially since the medication I’m on has made my life so much easier and enjoyable
letting me be almost-normal in order to blend in with the neurotypicals around me
feeling as if I’m not the monster that everyone keeps saying I should be
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