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Writer's pictureAlixx Black

Psychosis

Psychosis, as defined by Merriam-Webster, is a mental illness in which the patient experiences loses touch with relation and experiences hallucinations or delusions.

I don’t like talking about what my medical file says about me with other people

and what that sort of diagnosis usually means for my personality

mostly because of how ‘psychosis’ and ‘psychotic’ are synonymous to everyone else

a day in the life of my broken brain is not unlike watching a horror film,

for my intrusive thoughts are violent and my delusions are molded by them, and

rarely do I have the ability to explain the reasoning behind these things

and it sucks because ‘psychosis’ should explain it all, unfortunately

it has not come to be that having a mental illness isn’t an acceptable ‘excuse’ –

doesn’t anyone else think it’s stupid that a diagnosis is an “excuse” to be different

of course, it could be another delusion of mine that there will a time where judgment is

forgotten, lost, dismissed, and gone based upon the mental health we’ve got

most of the time I’m not so self-conscious about my diagnosis because it is an answer

you know – like a reason for why I feel so crazy all the time

so I don’t hate that my files have me categorized and labeled,

especially since the medication I’m on has made my life so much easier and enjoyable

letting me be almost-normal in order to blend in with the neurotypicals around me

feeling as if I’m not the monster that everyone keeps saying I should be

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