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Writer's pictureAlixx Black

MHA Poem 5: Self-aware

SELF-AWARE

Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom. -Aristotle

“How do you feel about that?”

I swear if I had a penny for every time I heard this question, I could actually afford these appointments.

“How do you feel about that?”

If I knew, would I really trap myself in this four-walled room with a closed door and fake waterfall sounds to – ha! – calm me?

“How do you feel about that?”

It isn’t as easy of a question as it sounds and, even though you tell me that you understand that, you keep asking it, and it makes me think your $60,000 degree was a waste of your money and mine.

“How do you feel about that?”

I want to know the damn answer, really I do, but the feeling words you keep reciting in perfectly monotone tones don’t actually describe the chaos in my heart, let alone in my brain, and I really can’t tell you how I feel about it – about anything!

“How do you feel about that?”

I’m so tired of having to think about myself, so could we just skip this stupid question, please?

“How do you feel about that?”

If I answer this, do you think we could stop thinking about feelings and finally get onto solutions, because that’s the only thing I came here for anyway.

“How do you feel about that?”

I feel like – I don’t know? – everything is too heavy to calculate but so empty that I’m not sure anything is even real anymore – and it absolutely terrifies me to think that all of this might not even matter to anyone, especially not to me.

“How do you feel about that?”

I feel like if I find a way to understand why I have a dark cloud swallowing my brain, maybe it won’t be so bad anymore.

“How do you feel about that?

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