TRIGGER WARNING: This is a poem written as a suicide note. I want you to be EXTREMELY CAUTIOUS when reading this poem as it can be extremely triggering/upsetting. Your safety – mentally, physically, emotionally – is more valuable that the views on this poem. Once you know that you are in a safe place to read this, then I still encourage you to do so with caution. I write to express and share, not to hurt and harm. You are so loved. Be good to yourself.
SUICIDE
Suicide doesn’t kill people. Sadness kills them. -Unknown
Dear Anybody who is listening,
I never actually thought about death the way that some do.
In fact, I’m not sure I even realized it was an option – I had no clue!
The decision to end my life was impromptu.
For days I felt my bones get heavy and my heart sink to my feet.
Everything I did was just going through the motions until I fell asleep.
I was happiest when I closed my eyes and I could escape being me.
I don’t know when the pain started but I always wanted it to stop.
It is only after I tried everything else that I’ve come to this – and I tried a lot!
But no matter what I did to forget, there was always this tiny reminder, this tiny knot.
When I thought about lying down forever I felt a relief so light I couldn’t help but smile.
The fact that I never considered dying as an option seemed like denial.
And I think maybe, if I’m honest, I’ve known it would come to this for awhile.
So this is my note to let you know the truth about why I’ve taken my leave.
Much like medication for the sick and ill, this is the healing that I need.
My last living request is that you don’t blame yourself – please.
This isn’t because I never loved you – it’s because I never loved me.
Never forget me,
your new Guardian Angel
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