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Writer's pictureAlixx Black

Agoraphobia

Agora is the term used in Ancient Greece to describe an open, public space where people congregate. SourcePhobia is a term used to explain a psychological fear of a specific object or situation. Source. Combining those words, you will have the term agoraphobia, which is a fear of public places and situations that could cause an individual to feel trapped, embarrassed, or helpless. Source.

I was excited to come

Until I got here

And now that the lights are dimming, I think I might die

It’s not that I’m afraid of the dark because I’m not

I feel really comfortable in the pitch blackness of a dark room

But this space – my folding seat angled to see the screen at the front of the theater

It is too small, too restrictive, and too immobile

Being here means I can’t move

I swear I wanted to see this movie so badly that I would’ve given anything to be here

Even just one hour ago

I wish I could explain why now my body feels like it’s shattering beneath my skin

The world is imploding, and I’m the exact point at which everything crumbles

My insides are shredding apart

My brain hurts

My lungs are punctured

It’s just a movie

But I think I might be the main attraction

As I crumble and die in front of everyone around me

Trying to camouflage myself from the embarrassment I’ve created in my brain

I tell myself that once the movie is over – I’m never doing this again

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