How can one person make you feel so special and yet so small at the same time? Caroline invited me to a special work thing. She’d only ever brought her grandma before, so it was a big deal. Only after – I don’t know – I think I disappointed her.
-_~* Week 6 *~_-
Already there were a dozen people marching around The Chipped Coffee. For his first trip to the café, it felt like he’d been here hundreds of times. Something about the place feels familiar to him, though he can’t pinpoint exactly what is creating that impression in his mind. He also can’t see Caroline, but he knows she’ll be near the counter since she has two drinks on the menu. Two drinks that he helped her find the inspiration to make.
When she had told Bryan that she wanted to put two items on the menu, apparently he’d been intrigued. Once she told him the recipes she was hoping to try and the name of the drinks, he was ecstatic. Bryan, or Barista Bryan, as he is often called, practically demanded that Caroline bring him to the Taster’s Event so that they could meet.
Going inside is the logical thing to do, but the way everyone is interacting makes him feel like he won’t fit in with them. Their bodies move like a puzzle that’s been put together many times before, and he’s the missing piece from someone else’s project wading in, hoping to find a home. Realistically, he’s just Caroline’s grief group partner and their friendship is still a work in progress. Does he really even belong there?
A text comes through, and he knows who sent it without checking, but he reads it anyway.
CWU can come in cuz nobody bites people here
Trained to hide his stress by burying his hands deep inside of his pockets to hide his trembling, Santiago repeats this comfortable action with ease while approaching the door. Since Caroline could see him from inside, she meets him at the door. Tonight she’s wearing very light washed denim and a brown shirt that has the picture of a chipped coffee cup on the front. She explains that creators of the menu items have to wear their uniform shirts to Taster’s Night because they’re working behind the counter. Several other people are wearing shirts, and Caroline points out each of them as they walk a circle through the shop.
Barista Bryan is talking with a business looking man, who Caroline tells Santiago is Oliver Lee. He’s a regular for many reasons, but the only one he talks about is the business reason he shows up daily. “He meets with clients here off and on all day. BB lets it happen, though, because it’s more money in the café’s pocket. Personally, I think there’s more to it than that, but nobody really wants to talk about that theory with me.”
The next person she points out is someone named Katie. She’s wearing her hair in a messy bun that’s tucked behind her left ear and is sporting a glittering headband. Then there’s Erin (dyed red hair that is short and choppy) and Mariah (very tall). Two additional guys are also wearing their work tees, and Caroline announces that these two people are Keegan and Andrew. Keegan never seems to stop smiling, she says, and it makes him hard to forget. As for Andrew, his flat brown hair sticks to his forehead almost magnetically. After watching him for a few minutes, it doesn’t seem to matter how often the hair is moved, it just flops back into place.
“We have four managers in all, but Jorge’s grandparents are visiting from Peru and he’s taking vacation time to travel with them. The three here tonight are Bryan, Katie, and Andrew. It is a requirement that each manager submit at least one item to the Taster’s Night menu, and then the other employees are encouraged to help fill in the gaps for the other six items,” Caroline huffs, burning through her oxygen and her words so quickly that Santiago almost can’t keep up with the information she’s pouring out of her mouth. Explaining that Bryan started as a Barista when his uncle owned the café and that his nickname as Barista Bryan stems from him “remembering his roots” as a joke, she then segues into the reason behind this requirement of the managers. Someday he won’t be able to run the café and there’s going to need to be someone who steps up and carries on The Chipped Coffee Cup legacy.
Nodding and interrupting her, just for a break from the information overload, “Naturally.”
Her head cocks to the side. “What?”
“Naturally,” he repeats, “he would want someone reliable to take over when he’s ready to step down from business ownership.”
“Oh,” her voice drops, almost as if she were expecting something more impactful. Settled in the plainness of his reply, she returns to her previous resolve about giving him the full history of her co-workers. “Unfortunately, the only person who comes close to the expectations that Bryan has for his successor is Katie. She is a very creative thinker and always has a new recipe up her sleeve, but they are a total hit or a complete flop. Her biggest asset is also her biggest weakness. Katie will take a risk no matter the cost.”
He wonders if they can hear her giving him this rundown and if they are offended by anything being said. Santiago isn’t entirely sure what he would do if he were in a room and heard someone describing him as being good and bad at something he felt he was pretty strong doing. This Katie, with the glitter headband, must think that her recipes are fabulous enough to share and get feedback on at these events. So hearing someone else describe her hard work as being lackluster would be bitter and painful.
A glaze must be forming over his eyes or his face has gone slack because Caroline grabs his forearm and shakes. “I think BB wants to talk with us. He keeps waving his arms and pointing at me. Let’s head over there, partner.”
“Sure,” Santiago submits, following behind her in a haze. It is all very overwhelming, from Caroline’s informative lecture to the scents of each of the food items laying across the tables waiting for the event to officially start. Everything is new and interesting and wonderful – and not like anything he would’ve ever chosen to do on his own. Santiago can hardly believe that he’s there.
Bryan introduces himself, his guest Oliver “Ollie” Lee, and asks some questions about the recipes that Caroline put together. There’s not much to tell since he used base recipes he found online and tricks his mother used to make everything tastier ‘with love.’
Grinning, Bryan seems to understand completely. “My mom always tells me that you can tell when you are loved based on what the food tastes like when you eat it. Every emotion can be tasted if you pay close enough attention.”
Ollie agrees, watching Bryan closely. His interest in the café owner is undeniable. Whatever the nature of their friendship, Santiago can tell it is sincere. It makes him wonder if people look at Caroline and him and see the same thing. He hopes so, but he doesn’t look at her until they have the chance to escape the conversation.
Once they find themselves in a small pocket amongst the small crowd, Caroline nudges him and sighs. “I’ve never put anything on the menu and I think I have regrets. Now that you’re here, BB is going to want to get started.”
“What does Taster’s Night entail? You never told me what would happen exactly,” he inquires, knowing very little about how the whole night’s process would go since there was supposed to be voting of some sort for the various items. The two drinks and the two food items that were the most popular would ultimately end up on the café menu. “You’ll get three chips to vote with for each category. The food items are out in tasting portions, but the drinks will be made fresh for the best judgments. My drinks are first, so you’ll have to manage for a little bit on your own. Think you’re up to it?”
“Guess I have to be,” he laughs in reply. “Good luck.”
She is already making her way behind the counter to get to work, leaving him in the fray of strangers that know each other so well. Santiago walks up to the one that he felt most confident about knowing, Katie with the headband, and asks her if he can get a copy of the menu and voting chips. With a grin from ear-to-ear, she happily guides him to the table where everything he needs is, glancing around for Caroline every time she thinks he isn’t watching.
“You’re here with Caroline, right? Everyone has been buzzing about you.” The voice that Katie has reminds him of something he can’t describe, but it stirs up a feeling of discomfort. Santiago isn’t going to say right now that he doesn’t like her, but he expects that this will probably be the case.
While grabbing what he needs, he retorts coolly, “I hear that she only ever brought her grandmother. Must be a great point of gossip for her to bring someone else so soon after her death?”
It seems clear to Katie that he isn’t particularly impressed with her comments or the insinuation that she’s making. She tucks her chin into her chest and begins folding the corners of a menu. “I’m sorry. Caroline didn’t even bring her boyfriend and they were together for over two years. We’ve all been curious about you because Caroline is a hard nut to crack, you know?”
“She does shut herself off, but we’re in a unique situation. My parents died right before this school year started. As it happens, we are both orphans.” Even as he spills the words from his lips, he knows that it is a darker truth than Katie was expecting. Her eyes practically bulge out of her head, paling at his declaration.
Katie clears her throat nervously. “I can’t imagine what hell you’re both going through right now. I’m glad that you have each other.”
It is not surprising at all that she hurries away. Unfortunately, she’s not wrong, because everyone comes up in spurts to ask Santiago about himself: where does he go to school; what is his major; does he work; how did he meet Caroline; is he taking good care of her. Everything relates back to a hidden relationship. Despite having wondered himself if it could happen, it isn’t their place to make that assumption.
During an awkward lull, Bryan calls for everyone’s attention. “So, most of us know how Taster’s Night works, but we do have some new faces tonight and I want to review how the next couple of hours will look. All of the food items are laid out in tasting portions. Feel free to take multiples, feel free to try something with every drink served tonight, so that we can figure out which flavors work well together. We’re looking to redefine the fall flavors and breathe new life in the menu for the next two months before bringing those Christmas flavors in right after Thanksgiving. That being said, every fifteen minutes we’ll be serving everyone a social size of the drinks on the menu, beginning with Caroline Wilson’s café con leche, which is a vanilla-flavored espresso. Please enjoy!”
Ollie, Katie, and the gentleman, Andrew, he thinks, are all bussing drinks to everyone in the room. Some people immediately go for a food item to pair, but Santiago isn’t sure anything will make sense with the strong vanilla that he’s expecting from the café con leche. Sitting down at the table, he sips his drink and watches as everyone else mingles happily.
His first impression of the café con leche is that it’s not as sweet as he was expecting, but it doesn’t taste like his grandma’s café con leche either. Where it should’ve been frothy and thick, it was thin and loose. The quality is different, and a professionally crafted drink is always going to have a smoother texture. Santiago doesn’t know if he hates it, but he can at least admit that he doesn’t love it. He politely pushes it aside, feeling as though he’s failed Caroline in some way.
The sentiments ring true for most of the others as well. Nobody places a voting chip, and there’s a look on Caroline’s face that seems to indicate that she’s worried. Of course, the other drinks could be worse, or they could be better, so there’s no guarantee that this won’t be a winning drink.
It won’t be, but that’s beside the point in Santiago’s mind.
Fifteen minutes pass very quickly, and the next drink – Lazy Days Horchata – comes out in the same parade as before, though Santiago is served his drink last. Ollie grins and asks if he could sit with him. There’s no reason to refuse, so the businessman puts himself across the table from Santiago and pushes the second horchata in his hands across the table.
It is a complete turn around from the first drink. Though it doesn’t have the same texture, the flavors are far more similar to what he was used to drinking at home. Each recipe for horchata is different and is unique to the person making it, but this version could easily fit in with the ones he’s had in the past. Surprised and pleased, Santiago commits to putting a chip in the cup for it immediately. A few others do too, but it appears that the majority of the attendees will be waiting until they’ve had all of their drinks before committing to any of the three.
Ollie sits with him again when the Fruitsgiving smoothie comes out. This time, though, he starts a conversation, by first asking for Santiago’s last name. “Riviera,” he reports with curiosity.
“Your mother’s name, was it Valerie?” It is an odd question, though Santiago feels that he shouldn’t be as surprised as he is, since Ollie had already probed about his family name. Besides, it seems pretty obvious that Ollie knows something about his mom. Not only is he correct about her name, but he also refers to her in the past tense. Clearly, he is aware of her passing, so all he wanted was a way to bring something up. With a sigh, he nods his head to confirm, prepared to listen to another round of sentiments that he had rather hoped were done coming.
Ollie half-smiles and looks out the window to his right. “I didn’t know Valerie well, but I had a client that wanted to recruit her as an engineer. She came to the meeting and was very excited about the project. It was a health chip that could be implanted that would track vital biological information. When synced with a Bluetooth compatible device, health information could be stored and utilized by medical professionals when trying to issue a diagnosis.”
“Sounds amazing,” Santiago hums, wondering why he’s never heard about this before and what happened to the project. Thankfully, he doesn’t need to even ask because Ollie offers the information freely.
“There were plenty of people interested in funding the project, but nobody was willing to commit the funding until there was a prototype or a trustworthy engineer on the project.” Even though Ollie doesn’t say, he doesn’t have to. Valerie Riviera was not one to take a lot of risks unless there was some level of guaranteed reward. This project that could have saved lives never got off the ground.
Possibly because she didn’t choose to join the project.
Ollie can see through Santiago’s blank expression, he thinks, because he continues talking with a softer tone. “Valerie wanted to work on the project pretty badly but didn’t want to put your family in financial turmoil. I was supposed to call her the Monday after she died to let her know that we got the funding we needed to at least make a prototype. It was going to give her the freedom to keep her job and also work on a new piece of technology that could change the world.”
And there it was – the reason he wanted to talk to Santiago. He wanted closure. Santiago is at least thankful that it wasn’t what he originally thought since he thought she just turned the project down because it didn’t have the money it needed. The opposite was true, and it was a nice surprise. Like himself, his mother wanted to save lives.
Only she lost her own before she could try.
“I hope the best with your client. I am sorry that my mother passed on and isn’t able to back the project with her talents,” he says simply. He’d come to master the voice of sorrow and sarcasm simultaneously. Ollie probably doesn’t mean for this to be a low blow to his mental health, but it runs right through him like a knife. Biting back the sob that wells up in his throat, he pulls his cup to his lips and chugs the remainder of the smoothie. It isn’t the best, but it’s better than trying to fill the awkward silence.
There’s not exactly a hint to be picked up, but Ollie senses that Santiago isn’t having a fantastic time. He remains quiet until his drink is gone, at which point he stands and leaves the table. In no time at all, Caroline replaces him at the table with a grin and a full cup of the Fruitsgiving smoothie.
“I’m not sure why there are two cranberry based items on the menu, personally, but after one sip of this, I’m feeling pretty good about my drinks,” Caroline says, only half glancing around to see if anyone could hear her. As he follows her gaze, she stops looking all over the shop after she finds Katie seated near the pass at the back of the shop. “That’s her cousin Derrick. He loves coming to these events but he hates being around all the people, so he usually sits in a corner. But that boy loves coffee so much he can’t just tell her that he’d rather stay at home.”
A number of thoughts cross his mind, many of them worthless and unnecessary to share aloud. Instead, he listens to Caroline as she burns through topic after topic. First, she points down at his menu and explains who made what items, which ones she’s already tasted, and what she expects out of the Essence of Carmel Apple tea that’s about to be served. Then she talks about schoolwork that she needs to get done over the weekend, bills that she needs to pay next week, and how she thinks that they should start thinking about some Halloween parties to crash.
At some point, Bryan and Ollie join them, each with two teas in hand. There is no doubt that the tea is her favorite so far, and she asks if she can finish Ollie’s when he doesn’t care for it. He happily hands it over and grins. “I think I’ll grab another pumpkin pie cake pop. Anyone else interested?”
Santiago shrugs his shoulders. “Sure, I haven’t tried anything over there yet.”
“That’s is no bueno, dude,” Caroline exclaims, jumping to join Ollie. “I’ll come back with one of everything. The best part of Taster’s Night is having an opinion on literally everything without consequence.”
When she walks away, Bryan turns to him with a sideways smirk. Without saying, he shares his own mixed feelings about Caroline’s use of Spanish works. It’s not uncommon for Spanish speaking families to switch back and forth between the two languages, but Caroline doesn’t speak Spanish as far as he’s ever known. It doesn’t offend either of them, but it makes them wish she’d go further than using what little she knows in an effort to relate. “I take it you speak Spanish?”
“De hecho hago,” he confirms, not only with his words but with the language he chooses to speak. “Soy asumo tú hace también?”
Bryan shrugs. “Not in public, usually, unless it’s necessary for work or an emergency. I try to avoid controversy whenever possible.”
“What a shame,” Santiago starts, “since the Spanish tongue is a very beautiful language.”
Bryan shrugs his shoulders and then sighs. “When you’re a bisexual, biracial café owner with a primarily white clientele, you learn to pick your battles. I save my language of love for at home when Ollie and I are having a movie night.”
Well, that wasn’t very subtle of him to say. Santiago tells Bryan that Caroline would have a hay day with the information, but he’s not surprised. The staff is young, they like to gossip, especially about hot button issues like his sexuality and his nationality. At some point there were customers accusing him of appropriating the Mexican culture by lying about his race, and another time there were rumors that the only reason he was even allowed to take over the café is that his uncle was being deported. After working there for several years, he’s become accustomed to the broken glass he must constantly tread to make sure the café continues to thrive. “I keep my drinks and business as vanilla as I can so that I can someday use my wealth and influence to make big moves.”
“Do you ever wonder if it would be worth it, though?” Santiago mutters, a distinct sense of defeat washing over him. Bryan is several years older than him, more established and successful, and despite the personal happiness he has, he can’t be completely open about himself. Labels that identify him rather than define him, prevent and stop him from having freedom of expression. It enrages Santiago to the point that he about can’t stay put. He wants to leave – and cry – and scream.
He hasn’t felt this angry since…
Caroline interrupts his thoughts. “I suggest starting with the cranberry parfait because cranberries don’t belong on this planet and everything else sounds pretty great.” He obliges, letting his thoughts drift away from the many things upsetting him. And for a while, he seems to almost be back to normal, but only for a while.
The night goes quickly and, before he knows it, he’s walking along the sidewalk in the crisp night air with Caroline at his side. Everything looks the same, sounds the same, and smells the same as any other time they’ve walked to her car after having dinner together. Yet, there’s still something that isn’t quite right about the space between them. Santiago almost says something but chooses to keep to himself. If Caroline wants to make conversation, she will, and she usually does, so he’ll wait to see if she’s interested in talking.
At first, though, it seems like she’s content in being silent. It has been, after all, a familiar part of their shared company. Usually, it doesn’t feel so awkward, though. This reminds him of the first night that they went for coffee together: a natural comfort but a desire to remain closed off and expressionless. When she does open her mouth to speak, nothing really comes out, just a few sniffles and coughs.
Then, practically out of nowhere, Caroline stops. “You were kind of a dick tonight. Nobody felt like they could talk to you because you were being sarcastic and, honestly, pretty rude,” she says, trying hard to avoid a scathing tone. Of course, she fails because he can hear her criticism at the tail end of each word she says. Perhaps if she were wrong he would want to correct her and shout at the top of his lungs so that she’d hear only what he has to say in defense of himself, but she’s not. Santiago can reflect with a clear enough mind to know that he was a terrible guest.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers.
“No.” Caroline raises a finger at him and keeps pointing right at the bridge of his nose. “You don’t get to apologize unless you mean it. You’ve been grouchy and short with everyone all week. This is not you and you know it. I get that you’re angry about something, probably your parents, but you don’t get to just go around hurting other people when you’re mad. Everyone in that shop was dedicated to making this a positive experience for you. I hope you know that everyone felt guilty because they thought that they did something to upset you.”
“That is not my fault,” Santiago grunts.
“Wrong!” she growls, angry at his apathy. “I begged them to please make you feel welcome and to be normal around you. I said not to swarm you, bother you, force you into social interactions. But I should’ve warned them that you’re just a grumpy old man trapped in a twenty-something body.”
He doesn’t have to listen to another one of her insults. Santiago did what he was supposed to do and he voted like everyone else. Yet, he is the one in the wrong. He’s the one who closed everyone out this time, but it’s not okay for him to do it. Instead of trying to make amends and explain himself, Santiago just starts walking off. Getting a ride home from Caroline is the last thing he wants to do right now. No, he’ll just get back to the campus on his own. In the meantime, he bids her farewell as politely as he can manage, “Have a good night, Caroline.”
“We’re not done talking about this, Santiago!” Caroline declares loud enough for the whole city of Wells, Illinois to hear, but she climbs into her car just the same and slams the door shut.
Maybe they aren’t done talking about it for good – but they are done talking about it for now.
Acknowledgements
Per the usual, my best bud editor-in-the-making, Ouranose, coached me through the tough days of posting late and made sure that this was the best quality story it could be before it came to you today. She has an amazing blog worth checking out as well, usually posting on the day that I’m not, so she always has something to enjoy!
I used this stock photo in the menu, the source can be found here. It was a free stock image, so I’m not infringing upon any copyright protections and posting credit where it is due.
Hit up my Facebook Page! Like my page! I posted updates about this post being late, so it’s one of the quickest ways to get information about my posting schedule and anything new that I’m working on as well.
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