GRIEF GROUP TRANSCRIPT
SESSION 8
DATE: 10/27/2014
TIME: 06:30 P.M.
TOTAL IN ATTENDANCE:
10 ATTENDEES, 16 REGISTERED FOR ATTENDANCE
DURATION OF MEETING:
55 MINUTES OUT OF THE MINIMUM 60 MINUTES REQUIRED
*BEGIN*
DR KUVAAR:
I DON’T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I’M PRETTY SURE IT GOT REALLY COLD OVERNIGHT. I HAD TO DIG OUT MY WINTER PEACOAT THIS MORNING.
PATIENT 401:
I’VE BEEN TAKING MINE WITH ME WHEN I VISIT HANNAH AT NIGHT, BUT I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. I ENDED UP WEARING IT AROUND CAMPUS AND THROUGH MY LECTURES TODAY.
PATIENT 621:
HOW IS HANNAH DOING? ARE YOU DOING ANYTHING FOR HALLOWEEN WITH HER?
PATIENT 401:
YES. DR KUVAAR AND I ARE GOING TO BRING SOME SWEETS AND PLAY SOME CARD GAMES. CANDY WILL BE OUR CURRENCY FOR THE EVENING. HANNAH’S REALLY EXCITED ABOUT IT.
DR KUVAAR:
HANNAH HAS SHOWN A LOT OF PROGRESS AND HAS BEEN TALKING MORE POSITIVELY ABOUT HER FUTURE THAN SHE EVER HAS BEFORE. I’VE BEEN VERY MOVED BY HER HEALING.
PATIENT 401:
SHE’S A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON, BUT NOT IN A BAD WAY. ALL OF THE PARTS OF HANNAH THAT MAKE HER HANNAH ARE STILL THERE, BUT SHE’S CALMER AND SOFTER NOW. IT IS WEIRD BUT NICE.
DR KUVAAR:
SPEAKING OF HALLOWEEN PLANS, WHAT’S EVERYONE ELSE GOT ON THEIR SCHEDULE THIS WEEKEND? HALLOWEEN IS ON FRIDAY THIS YEAR, SO THERE’S GOT TO BE A LOT OF FUN STUFF HAPPENING.
PATIENT 911:
CAN I JUST SAY – IF ANYONE IN HERE IS GOING TO DO SOMETHING WILD AND CRAZY AND QUESTIONABLE – I DON’T FEEL LIKE THEY’RE GOING TO TELL YOU.
DR KUVAAR:
THAT WOULD BE UNFORTUNATE, BECAUSE I’M HERE TO BE SUPPORTIVE AND GUIDING, NOT JUDGMENTAL. MY JOB IS TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU ARE TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF AND WORKING TOWARDS A HEALTHY LIFE THROUGH YOUR GRIEVING PROCESS.
PATIENT 417:
WELL, KELLER DIDN’T COME, AND THAT’S NOT A SUPER SURPRISE TO ME, BUT I’M A BIT WORRIED ABOUT HIS HALLOWEEN PLANS. HE KEEPS MAKING JOKES ABOUT GOING TO A ‘SHOOTER’ OR A ‘BURNING’ OR SOMETHING. I DON’T REMEMBER WHAT HE CALLED IT BUT IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE A GROUP THING WHERE EVERY DOES HEROINE TOGETHER AT THE SAME TIME. THAT’S GOT ME VERY CONCERNED.
DR KUVAAR:
THAT’S A REASONABLE THING TO BE WORRIED ABOUT. HAVE YOU TOLD HIM NOT TO GO?
PATIENT 417:
I ASKED HIM TO PLEASE NOT GO. IT SHOULDN’T BE A SURPRISE TO ANYONE THAT HE BLEW ME OFF COMPLETELY ME AND REMINDED ME WHAT A ‘TOOL’ I AM FOR WANTING HIM TO AVOID USING ILLEGAL DRUGS.
DR KUVAAR:
HAS KELLER TOLD YOU ANYTHING ABOUT HIS BROTHER? ABOUT THEIR UPBRINGING OR CHILDHOOD?
PATIENT 417:
NOT MUCH.
DR KUVAAR:
THAT’S TO BE EXPECTED. KELLER DOES NOT OPEN UP EASILY, AND I KNOW HE IS VERY AFFECTED BY LAST WEEK’S CONVERSATION. THE ONLY COMFORT I CAN OFFER YOU IS THAT KELLER IS LYING TO YOU AND THAT HE’S SAFER THAN HE WANTS YOU TO THINK.
PATIENT 417:
SHOULD I FEEL FLATTERED?
DR KUVAAR:
I NEVER KNOW WHAT TO THINK WITH KELLER, IF I’M BEING AS HONEST AS I CAN BE, BUT I FEEL IN MY HEART THAT HE’S TRYING TO PROTECT YOU FROM SOMETHING HE SEES AS BEING A BURDEN TO YOU.
PATIENT 417:
WELL, I GUESS THAT’S INFORMATION THAT I HAVE NOW.
PATIENT 401:
I HOPE THAT KELLER OPENS UP TO YOU.
PATIENT 417:
MAYBE I SHOULD INVITE HIM TO SOMETHING. MAYBE TO PASS OUT CANDY AT MY GRANDMA’S OR SOMETHING.
DR KUVAAR:
BRIGHTON – THAT WOULD BE A FABULOUS IDEA. HE MIGHT GO FOR IT.
PATIENT 911:
SO WHAT ABOUT EVERYONE ELSE? PLANS?
PATIENT 1002:
I’M GOING TO A COSTUME PARTY THAT OUR HALL IS PUTTING ON. THERE ARE GAMES ON EACH FLOOR AND WHOEVER GETS THE MOST POINTS ALL NIGHT WINS A $250 GIFT CARD. EVERYONE PITCHED IN SOME CASH AND HELPED GET THE GAMES AND CANDY. I’M REALLY EXCITED!
PATIENT 506:
I’M NOT DOING ANYTHING.
PATIENT 1002:
BY CHOICE, MY GOD.
DR KUVAAR:
NATE? DID SOMETHING HAPPEN TODAY?
PATIENT 506:
NATHANIEL DID WHAT NATHANIEL ALWAYS DOES – WHICH IS THINK ONLY ABOUT HIMSELF.
PATIENT 1002 (NATHANIEL):
YOU ARE MAKING A BIGGER DEAL OF THIS THAN IT NEEDS TO BE, FOR FUCK’S SAKE. ALL I DID WAS GET MY OWN COSTUME BECAUSE I DIDN’T WANT TO DRESS UP LIKE A GODDAMN BOTTLE OF KETCHUP. I TOLD YOU THIS AND YOU STILL BOUGHT THE COSTUMES.
PATIENT 506:
WE AGREED TO DO COUPLE’S COSTUMES THIS YEAR, SO FORGIVE ME FOR A BEING A BIT UPSET THAT YOU DECIDED TO GET A DIFFERENT COSTUME WITHOUT TELLING ME AND THEN MAKE THESE PLANS TO STAY IN THE DORMS WHEN WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GO THE MALL FOR THEIR HALLOWEEN EVENT.
PATIENT 1002 (NATHANIEL):
NO, YOU DID TO ME WHAT YOU ALWAYS SAID I WOULD DO TO YOU. YOU ASKED IF I WANTED TO DO COUPLES COSTUMES, I SAID MAYBE. YOU ASKED IF I HAD A PREFERENCE, I TOLD YOU THAT WE’D NEED TO SIT AND LOOK AT THE OPTIONS. YOU BOUGHT THE COSTUMES AND I TOLD YOU THAT I WASN’T HAPPY THAT YOU MADE THAT CHOICE WITHOUT ME AND THAT MAYBE WE SHOULD DO DIFFERENT THINGS FOR HALLOWEEN.
PATIENT 506:
YOU MAKE IT SOUND LIKE I DIDN’T TRY TO INCLUDE YOU IN ANY OF THIS! BESIDES, THE MALL EVENT WAS YOUR IDEA TO BEGIN WITH! YOU WERE THE ONE THAT MENTIONED THE COUPLES COSTUME EVENT!
PATIENT 1002 (NATHANIEL):
YOU ARE BEING RIDICULOUS, CASSIDY. I WAS VERY CLEAR ALL WEEK LAST WEEK THAT I WAS REALLY MAD ABOUT THE WAY THIS WAS TURNING OUT. I DON’T KNOW WHY YOU ARE SO BENT OUT OF SHAPE ABOUT MY SAYING WE NEED SOME SPACE.
DR KUVAAR:
NATHANIEL, DID YOU SAY THOSE EXACT WORDS?
PATIENT 506 ([CASSIDY] SIMULTANEOUSLY WITH PATIENT 1002 [NATHANIEL])
YES.
PATIENT 1002 ([NATHANIEL] SIMULTANEOUSLY WITH PATIENT 506 [CASSIDY])
NO.
DR KUVAAR:
I SEE.
PATIENT 621:
I THINK EVERYONE SEES.
PATIENT 506:
HE TOLD ME THAT HE FELT LIKE I WAS MAKING ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT THE DYNAMIC OF OUR RELATIONSHIP.
PATIENT 1002 (NATHANIEL):
YOU’VE SAID THAT EXACTLY SAME THING TO ME.
PATIENT 506 (CASSIDY):
BECAUSE YOU DO THAT SHIT TO ME ALL THE TIME! I TRIED TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOU ABOUT EVERYTHING.
PATIENT 1002 (NATHANIEL):
EXCEPT YOU WEREN’T LISTENING TO WHAT I WAS SAYING.
DR KUVAAR:
DID YOU TELL HER EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANTED TO SAY?
PATIENT 506 (CASSIDY):
YEAH RIGHT. HE HASN’T BEEN OPEN WITH ME FOR MONTHS.
PATIENT 1002 (NATHANIEL):
I TRIED TO MAKE IT CLEAR TO HER THAT I WASN’T INTERESTED IN THAT KIND OF RELATIONSHIP.
DR KUVAAR:
BUT YOU DIDN’T TELL HER PLAINLY?
PATIENT 1002 (NATHANIEL):
NO, BECAUSE SHE WOULD’VE REACTED THE WAY THAT SHE’S REACTING RIGHT NOW.
PATIENT 506 (CASSIDY):
I AM JUSTIFIED IN MY REACTION, THANKS! YOU’VE BEEN A COMPLETE JERK.
DR KUVAAR:
CASSIDY, DID YOU TRY TELLING NATHANIEL HOW MUCH THIS MEANT TO YOU?
PATIENT 1002 (NATHANIEL):
SHE TOLD ME THAT SHE WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO TAKING OUR RELATIONSHIP TO THE “NEXT LEVEL” WITH THESE COSTUMES, BUT I DIDN’T EVEN REALIZE THAT IT WAS SUCH A BIG DEAL TO HER. I DIDN’T KNOW THAT WAS “NEXT LEVEL” STUFF TO HER.
PATIENT 506 (CASSIDY):
THE BIGGEST PROBLEM WE’VE ALWAYS HAD IS NOT BEING ON THE SAME PAGE, NATE, AND I THINK THAT IT’S ALL BEEN LEADING UP TO THIS MOMENT. YOU DON’T CARE ABOUT ANYONE BUT YOURSELF AND THE WAY YOU’RE AFFECTED BY THINGS. THAT’S WHY WE BROKEN UP THE FIRST TWO TIMES, THAT’S WHY WE TOOK A WEEK OFF FROM TALKING TO EACH OTHER. WE JUST DON’T AGREE ABOUT WHAT A RELATIONSHIP IS SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE. WELL, THERE’S THE SPACE YOU NEEDED. AND HERE’S SOME MORE, TOO.
PATIENT 506 GRABS BELONGINGS AND EXITS THE CONFERENCE ROOM
DR KUVAAR:
WHY DON’T WE MAKE THIS OUR BREAK TIME? I AM GOING TO GO TALK WITH CASSIDY FOR A FEW MINUTES BEFORE SHE GETS TOO MUCH FURTHER.
** BRIEF UNSTRUCTURED BREAK FROM 6:55 – 7:05 **
DR KUVAAR:
I WAS HOPING FOR THAT CONVERSATION TO GO DIFFERENTLY, BUT IT’S IMPORTANT TO SEE THAT AND GET IT OUT IN THE OPEN.
PATIENT 1002 (NATHANIEL):
I DON’T SEE WHY SHE NEEDED TO MAKE SUCH A BIG SCENE. I’M REALLY SORRY.
DR KUVAAR:
NO, THAT WAS IMPORTANT FOR BOTH OF YOU, AND I THINK IT’S PART OF YOUR GRIEVING COMING OUT. YOU LOST FAMILY EARLIER THIS YEAR, AND YOU’RE IN THE LATER STAGES. I SEE YOU HOPPING BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN ANGER AND DEPRESSION, WHICH IS DIRECTLY THE OPPOSITE OF CASSIDY. SHE’S GOING BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN THE SAME TWO STAGES, BUT NOT IN TANDEM WITH YOURS.
PATIENT 1002 (NATHANIEL):
IT FEELS LIKE WE’RE ALWAYS AT WAR WITH WHAT COMES NEXT. WHEN I WANTED TO MOVE ON, SHE THOUGHT I WAS TRYING OT TRAP HER. NOW THAT SHE’S READY TO SETTLE DOWN, I DON’T KNOW IF I WANT TO SPEND THE NEXT YEAR OR SO LIVING MY LIFE ON HER SCHEDULE. IT NEEDS TO BE OUR SCHEDULE OR WE CAN’T DO THIS TOGETHER.
DR KUVAAR:
I CAN’T TELL YOU WHAT TO DO OR WHAT NOT TO DO. ALL I CAN SAY IS THAT I THINK THAT THIS WILL EITHER BRING YOU CLOSER TO CASSIDY, OR PUT THINGS INTO PERSPECTIVE FOR YOU ENOUGH TO DECIDE WHAT THE BEST STEP IS TO TAKE FOR THE BOTH OF YOU.
PATIENT 1002 (NATHANIEL):
I HOPE SO. THE LAST COUPLE OF WEEKS HAVE BEEN EXHAUSTING BEHIND THE CURTAIN.
PATIENT 911:
I DIDN’T EVEN REALIZE THAT YOU WERE DATING.
PATIENT 822:
MOST OF US THINK THAT YOU TWO ARE DATING, ACTUALLY. WE DIDN’T REALLY THINK ANYTHING ABOUT NATE AND CASSIE.
PATIENT 822 GESTURES BETWEEN PATIENT 911 AND PATIENT 621
PATIENT 621:
THANK YOU FOR YOUR OBSERVATIONS.
PATIENT 911:
BECAUSE WE’RE GOOD PARTNERS?
PATIENT 822:
BECAUSE YA’LL ARE MORE THAN GOOD PARTNERS, YOU KNOW? YOU COME TOGETHER, YOU LEAVE TOGETHER, YOU ARE IN THE CAFETERIA ALL THE TIME, AND I HEARD DOC SAY THAT YOU’RE THE ONLY PARTNER GROUP THAT HASN’T MISSED A WEEK YET.
DR KUVAAR:
WHEN DID YOU HEAR ME SAY THAT, JARRON?
PATIENT 822 (JARRON):
OVERHEARD YOU TALKING ABOUT IT WITH ONE OF THE OTHER PROFESSORS. THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO KEEP THIS SHIT PRIVATE, BUT I UNDERSTAND YOU GOTTA TALK ABOUT THE CRAZY THAT COMES OUT OF THIS ROOM.
PATIENT 621:
DID YOU BREAK OUR PATIENT CONFIDENTIALITY?
DR KUVAAR:
THE REFERRING STAFF MEMBER FOR YOUR FILE CAME TO ASK ME ABOUT YOUR PROGRESS. I DID NOT TELL HIM ANYTHING PRIVATE AND ONLY SAID THAT YOU WERE DOING BETTER THAN ORIGINAL PROJECTED AND THAT YOUR PARTNERSHIP WITH ANOTHER PATIENT THE MOST SUCCESSFUL SO FAR.
PATIENT 621:
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ANYONE THIS? NAMELY ME, SINCE I WAS THE SUBJECT OF THE CONVERSATION.
DR KUVAAR:
I HADN’T CONSIDERED TELLING YOU BECAUSE IT WAS WELL WITHIN MY PARAMETERS TO UPDATE YOUR PROFESSORS AND DEPARTMENTS HEADS ON YOUR PROGRESS. HOWEVER, I DO UNDERSTAND YOUR CONCERN. I WILL TRY TO BE MORE MINDFUL OF IT IN THE FUTURE.
PATIENT 911:
SO? WHAT? WE’RE AUTOMATICALLY DATING BECAUSE WE’RE GETTING ALONG?
PATIENT 621:
SEEMS TO BE THE ASSUMPTION.
PATIENT 911:
COOL.
PATIENT 621:
WE WERE GOING TO TALK ABOUT HALLOWEEN COSTUMES EARLIER, AND I THINK MAYBE WE COULD GO BACK TO THAT BEFORE LEAVE TONIGHT. CAROLINE IS ESPECIALLY EXCITED ABOUT HER COSTUME AND I THINK SHE’S BEEN ITCHING TO SHARE BUT DIDN’T WANT TO INTERRUPT ANYONE.
DR KUVAAR:
MAYBE WE COULD GO AROUND AND ANNOUNCE OUR COSTUMES, OR SAY WHAT OUR FAVORITE COSTUME WAS WHEN WE DRESSED UP. MIGHT BE A GREAT WAY TO WIND DOWN THE NIGHT.
PATIENT 911:
I WANT TO GO LAST.
PATIENT 621:
I’LL GO FIRST THEN. I’M DRESSING UP AS – DRUM ROLL PLEASE…
VARIOUS PATIENTS DRUMROLL AS REQUESTED WITH HANDS AND FEET
PATIENT 621:
TRASH BAG.
PATIENT 911:
I DON’T LOVE IT, BUT YOU’RE PRETTY SET ON DOING IT.
PATIENT 621:
WHO’S NEXT?
PATIENT 1102 (NATHANIEL):
I’M GOING AS THE ONE AND ONLY STAR LORD.
PATIENT 911:
I MEAN, IF YOU’RE GOING TO BE A COMIC BOOK CHARACTER, I SUPPOSE THAT WOULD THE BEST ONE.
PATIENT 621:
CAROLINE DOESN’T LIKE COMIC-TO-MOVIE ADAPTATIONS.
PATIENT 822 (JARRON):
I HAVEN’T DRESSED UP IN YEARS. I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT I DRESSED UP AS A KID BEFORE I QUIT TRICK-OR-TREATING. BUT IF I DID DRESS UP, I SUPPOSE I WOULD WANNA DRESS UP MACE WINDU FROM STAR WARS.
PATIENT 401:
DR KUVAAR AND I ARE GOING TO WEAR FOOTIE PAJAMAS. WE FOUND SOME BUTTON-UP ONES THAT WE CAN WEAR WITH HANNAH. I’M WEARING A DOG, DOCTOR KUVAAR IS WEARING A BUNNY, AND HANNAH IS WEARING A CAT.
DR KUVAAR:
A FUN FACT ABOUT HANNAH – SHE LOVES CATS.
PATIENT 417:
I WASN’T GOING TO DRESS UP BUT I’LL PROBABLY HAVE TO COME UP WITH SOMETHING TO CONVINCE KELLER TO COME WITH ME FOR THE NIGHT. MAYBE WE’LL BORROW SANTIAGO’S TRASH BAG IDEA.
PATIENT 911:
PLEASE DON’T.
PATIENT 417:
DO YOU HAVE A BETTER SUGGESTION? WHAT ARE YOU DRESSING UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN?
PATIENT 911:
YOU THINK YOU’RE READY TO KNOW?
PATIENT 621:
EVERYONE IS READY, I PROMISE.
PATIENT 911:
I’M GOING TO BE A CANDLE.
PATIENT 621:
YES, YOU DID HEAR HER CORRECTLY.
DR KUVAAR:
A CANDLE? LIKE A CANDLESTICK?
PATIENT 621:
SHE’S GOING TO BE A PROPER GLASS CANDLE.
DR KUVAAR:
THAT’S VERY ORIGINAL, CAROLINE.
PATIENT 417:
ANYONE ELSE WANT TO SHARE? YOU THREE?
PATIENTS 811, 717, AND 808 DECLINE TO PARTICIPATE
DR KUVAAR:
THAT’S ALL RIGHT. WE CAN WRAP IT UP ANYWAY, I THINK. EVERYONE IS DISTRACTED ABOUT THE HOLIDAY ANYWAY, SO LET’S CALL IT NIGHT. I’M ALWAYS HERE IF YOU NEED SOMEONE TO LISTEN, OR IF YOU’RE IN A BAD SITUATION AND NEED SUPPORT. I’M ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU. I HOPE EVERYONE HAS A HAPPY HALLOWEEN.
* END *
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