Prologue
I am, above all other things, stupidly logical about the way I want things to work and how I believe that they should be working. So, with the title, you can (hopefully) assume that I am not a huge believer in spirits, magic, and other fantastical things. Though I do not say it often, I don’t identify with any religious faith, and rather look to them as guidelines for how to be a good person rather than how to be saved. It’s kind of scary to say that “out loud,” so to speak, because I live in a heavily Christian city and work for a faith-based company. There’s a whole post that can come out of those last two statements, but I’m not sure this is the place or the time.
I want to focus on the specific nature of psychics and the act of tarot reading. While I have never actually expressed as much, I’ve always found the concept of tarot readings fascinating because it relies so heavily on the psychology of the individual asking the reading. It is honestly as close to magic as medicine and science, in my opinion, because you can literally change a person’s life by melding their minds based on pictures and pre-determined meanings. It’s like hypnosis, almost, except less reliant on the chance of gaining control. The second someone wants and agrees to have a tarot reading done, the willingness to be influenced, or perhaps even controlled, exists.
My best friend believes in this stuff, like super genuinely, and utilizes in her life as a coping mechanism. For that reason, as with all other people and their interests, I have remained open to these things and take them seriously. By no means does that mean I am really good at being respectful, but I really try.
A few months ago I went to get a palm reading/aura reading from a local psychic with my best friend. She wanted to go but didn’t want to go alone, and I wasn’t necessarily opposed to it. One of the only ways to become a better writer is to experience new things in life. Since I do tend towards realistic styles of fiction, this would be a really cool way to move into magical realism and fantasy type stories with a good idea of how it would be to experience that sort of thing.
I left feeling pretty positive, and even though I don’t ‘buy into’ this kind of stuff, there is something really neat about it. Even if I didn’t necessarily believe everything that the psychic said to me, I was thinking about what it meant for my future. She said that there would be an opportunity for me very soon that would be life-changing, and not a full month later I was asked to write a sample for the new writing project I am currently working on. The magazine I coordinate got an official publisher, which could end up being another way to make money writing as a career, which could also fall into that category. Another thing that she said in the reading was that a vacation was in my future before next summer. Currently, we’re kind of hoping that we can aim for a small vacation in Chicago.
Did she predict these things accurately? I can’t say for sure because I don’t want to dedicate my time to the deepest understandings of this practice, but I can say that because I went into it open-minded and left feeling positive, I definitely had a paradigm shift about how to keep moving forward. At the time, I really needed it, because we were in the thick of a really difficult time. I don’t know that I’m fixed of all my troubles, but I’m slightly better off, and it cost less than going to a therapists office to talk about my feelings for an hour.
Maybe mental health professionals need to start including tarot readings in their field of study – eh?
Anyway, I did a reading for myself with tarot cards my best friend gave to my husband to use for our Dungeons & Dragon campaigns and one-shot adventures. I got them out because I was bored and curious – and also because I watched some art videos where artists used tarot cards to inspire their art. Thinking that this would be something cool to write about, I did my readings and start a blog post right away.
I have two versions of the readings, as cards that are upside down have different meanings. All of my cards were upside down, so I thought it would make sense to do an authentic reading of all ‘reverse’ meanings, and then do a reading assuming that I set the deck down upside down. After I typed everything up, I underlined key parts of the readings that stood out to me. I’ll put my thoughts in bold with each reading, and then review how accurate the final reading feels to me.
So – if this seems like something you’re interested in reading – dive right in!
Tarot Reading
(Assuming the cards were meant to be drawn upside and using the ‘reverse’ meanings)
..::*::..
What’s at hand: Don’t let your insecurity drive you to be overly generous to the needy – you’ll end up with less energy and less money.
Past Influences: Progress is sluggish; delays are inevitable. Are you looking at things honestly? Find ways to take control of the situation.
Ponder This: You don’t always have to come out on top. Accept compromises and apologies. Reprioritize.
What to do: Are you feeling inferior about your intellect, education, or communication skills? Stop it! Don’t exaggerate your fears or be reluctant to take action. Problems with your mother and other intimate women are imminent.
I tried to underline something from each section that stood out to me. For “What’s at hand” I had felt that everything there was spot on. I do tend to overdo gifts and go out of my way to make others happy, often at my own expense. There is a point where you can’t take care of others if you can’t take care of yourself, and I forget that a lot. So this stood out to me, especially with how busy I am this year.
I also related to “Progress is sluggish; delays are inevitable,” and “Reprioritize,” because of the project I am working on right now. There have been a series of small, but very present, road bumps that have definitely put us behind the originally projected schedule. It is hard to cope with that shift a lot, but I am focusing on that reprioritize already so that I am my best self no matter where I am in the timeline of events.
Then the last thing I underlined was mostly because I often doubt myself and my ability to keep up with people that I perceive to be more qualified. I am trying to be better, and trying to be more receptive to compliments about my successes and victories. Seeing this felt like a reminder.
Which leads to me my ‘rating’ of this reading. These reverse meanings did all feel pretty spot on. Since I didn’t ask the cards a specific question, as if often directed in readings, I got what my friend described as “the details that cards want you to know.” These cards were pretty specific comments that definitely related to where I’m at right now, which was really neat and super exciting to experience.
Overall, I decided that this reading was 4/5 in it’s accurate and relatability. Even admitting that it was kind of right and helpful is weird for me, but I can’t deny those clear connections. However, I still wanted to reconsider those readings since the cards were all upside down and wanted to see how this reading compared to what it might’ve been were the cards all upright.
Tarot Reading
(Assuming that the deck was upside down when I laid it out, using the regular meanings)
..::*::..
What’s at hand: Achievement in business is at hand, chiefly because you are willing to make yourself available to your supervisors. But be careful not to buy others with gifts – this will only lead to resentment.
Past Influences: You misinterpret another’s intentions. This could be a time of regret or separation, so keep your chin up and look for the light at the end of the tunnel. Don’t let nervousness or worry cloud clear thinking and action.
Ponder This: People around you are cranky; morale is low. Stay calm through the chaos and remember who you are. Read all of the fine print – legal troubles are possible now.
What to Do: Express your ideas and take calculated risks. Getting what you want is your responsibility. Your passions are of primary importance to you now. News of a wedding, pregnancy, or children arrives.
Just like before, I underlined the parts that I most related to, and immediately had a connection with the first sentence in “What’s at hand.” My magazine is undergoing some changes, as I mentioned earlier, and I feel like there’s a really good opportunity ahead of me with this job that I already have, so I’ve been feeling pretty nervous and excited about those possibilities. We’re also talking about marketing for something else I’m working on, so I’ve been using that business degree and my business mind lately, and this felt like having confirmation about the direction I am going, even though I’m not actually looking for any type of validation in it right now.
For the “Past Influences” section, it pointed out that nervousness and worry right away, and it’s always accurate. My anxiety is the biggest battle I fight because it spirals me out of control and sets off some long and depressive episodes that last for weeks. Everything is about to be stupid crazy in my life and I know it’s easy to lose my true self in the madness of being everywhere at once. This felt like a reminder, which was definitely nice in its own way.
The last section said something about my passions. Above all else, I love to work with children in classrooms and write. Before I ever knew I liked working with kids, I loved to write. I have wanted to make a career and a living out of this for the majority of my life, and so I immediately thought of my writing when I saw this line. I have four jobs right now – FOUR OF THEM – and two pertain to writing while the other two pertain to kids. For several years I’ve felt very torn between the two, looking for some sort of sign telling me whether to go back to school to teach or to keep chasing my dream of becoming a published author. When I first started seeking that ‘higher power’ guidance out of desperation, a friend pointed me in the direction of the magazine job I have now. When I felt conflicted again six months later, I found this writing project opportunity, and it seemed like this was my ‘sign.’
Now, I know that I am the one that applied for the magazine job and for the writing project. I am the one that moved those mountains to make this path, but it revealed my heart to me at a time that I couldn’t see it clearly for myself. But that doesn’t change the way that I relate to this reading and how it does have some accuracy to it. This reading was more emotional and felt way more reminiscent of how my brain already works, so it felt repetitive of a monologue I’m already having.
For that reason, this reading didn’t connect with me as much as the ‘reverse meanings’ did, and felt less authentic somehow. These words just resembled regurgitated advice I am always giving myself, so even if it was helpful to see those meanings, it didn’t feel authentically accurate.
My overall rating for this reading is 2.5/5 – pretty good, but not quite convincing enough for me.
Epilogue
This was a really fun experience. I don’t know if I’ll pull the tarot cards out again for a reading like this (unless there’s reader interest, of course) but I feel like I definitely have learned a lot about my self and how my mind processes different experiences. It doesn’t seem like something so simple – or silly – would make that kind of an impact, but that’s why life is so wonderfully interesting. Little things can and do shape us as individuals.
If you do tarot readings, I honestly would love to hear about recent readings, or how you do your readings, or anything related to your experience with the art of tarot cards. As I said, even if I don’t believe in it the same way that others do, I really care about this particular type of magic, if you will, and am ready for all of the information.
Thanks for reading this incredibly long post about me and my weird life, and I hope that you had a good time getting to know me a little bit better (even though you never asked).
Until another time,
Ciao,
–ab
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