As a part of my #ReadWithMe reading challenge, I set a theme for January: read a book published in 2020. One of the books I read and reviewed was "Five Days: The Fiery Reckoning of an American City" by Wes Moore & Erica L. Green. It was a delightful read in the sense that it gave an account of real people from a wide variety of perspectives and experiences. Equally so, this read was thought-provoking and left me scrawling on nearly every page.
I didn't want to make the review about the book be all about me and my thoughts on the content, or the reflections I had on the matters discussed. I wanted it to be about the gift that is this sharing of the Baltimore Riots and the need for more texts like this to be taught in schools and workplaces. It is one of many mandatory reads for the perspectives of the people most directly affected by the system racism that is prevalent and rampant in America.
As for this post, this is where I will share the things that I got from reading this book. I won't share every thought and note because that would be excessive and unnecessary. Instead, I'm going to flip back through the text and share the annotations that really meant the most to me and talk through the thought a bit more at length here since the margins are limited resource when annotating a text.
Page 26: "That's not what people want from professionals who are supposed to entertain them."
Context: The discussion is regarding fandom being an escape from the real world and the fact that with sports, in this particular situation, is not a place where people want to hear about political issues.
Annotation: Politics have taken rights and commercialized them - we all should be talk about it.
So, with this annotation I wished I had more space because I would've worded it more clearly. Too many topics have been commercialized and politicized in such a way that it takes the rights away from anyone in the spotlight who isn't already in the political arena. Such as the racism that runs rampant in Hollywood; black performers aren't allowed to talk about it because it's a political topic. Being anything but a white politician makes it a crime to talk about the racial divide and can cost people their careers. That's absolutely ridiculous. I know that there are absolutely people out there who want politics to be out of their sports and fandoms, but I want to tell those people to fuck right off because you are demanding that people in the spotlight give up their basic rights to free speech and demeaning their same rights to express their political values with the people that look up to them. Thousands of families do exactly this same thing in their homes with their children. It's absurd to me that celebrities should be silent on political matters. That's not to mention the fact that many social matters are politicized when they shouldn't be, but to keep this short - I hate the people want to dehumanize and depersonalize celebrities who have a platform to make a difference. They should absolutely be saying something. It helps us as fans know who to support, but also spreads the word about important topics. There are problems, of course, but I very much believe in the concept of "the more you know."
Page 38: "Eventually she and her friends took refuse in a laundromat. But the white woman who worked there wanted them out. When Tawanda and her friends locked themselves in and refused to leave, the woman threatened to call the police. Tawanda remembered an overwhelming sense of relief at the threat - a call to the police was just what they needed to save them."
Context: Tawanda was being chased by and attacked by a group of white supremacists while walking and they were trying to find somewhere to hide for their safety. Nobody they asked for help offered it. She was reflecting on how then a police call was a positive thing but in the then-present day a call to the police was a life threatening experience.
Annotation: Nobody should have to watch children defend themselves like an adult - especially against the people meant to help them.
For this one, I really just wanted to specifically elaborate on the fact that this is horrifying and so real. People of color have to do this as a learned safety tactic in their lives against the inherent racism and unconscious biases that white people have from growing up in a system designed to provide them with a better life by default. It also made me think of children in homes of abuse - children who have to do unspeakable things to survive - children who ask for help and do everything they can to give you the smoking gun to save their lives. Often to no avail. I have been hurt as a foster parent, as an educator, and as a mental health worker to see children suffering in homes that harden them to hate the world around them because it leaves them in the smoldering ashes of a hell they didn't choose. My heart broke for Tawanda, not because I can relate to the hate crime that was being perpetuated upon her, but because I've been there - running from a mob of people wanting to bring harm to you because they feel entitled to it. It enraged further to be reminded how ridiculously common this type of thing is and how prevalent it remains even now in 2021.
Page 70: "On Sunday morning John arose early. No alarm clock needed. He hadn't really slept the night before." & "But it was also game day."
Context: John does the management for the Baltimore Orioles and their stadium. He is supposed to be on vacation but he was deciding how to address the threat of the riots regarding the baseball games set to take place.
Annotation 1: If you aren't losing sleep over [insert threat here], is it really that bad? Racist white people act like not getting their way is a threat but they ain't losing sleep - just their credibility.
Annotation 2: I don't personally get the value John puts into baseball, but I firmly agree that we need something good when everything else is hell. It cannot be worse than systemic racism killing your friends and family.
Today, only weeks after reading this, I don't know that I really like how I phrased these annotations, but I do feel like I can better explain the thoughts behind them. With Annotation 1, I really wanted to emphasize that white people often act like their annoyances in life are a threat to their existence. Specifically with the Trump elections, anytime criticized his ability to be president and run a country, with the legitimate comparison to how poorly he ran his business. His success is smoke in mirrors and powerful privilege, but people who literally were harmed by his policy changes supported him like it was the key to their existence, like he was a god to be worshiped and hailed as greater than. It was absolutely disgusting to watch unfold, but it was the epitome of white privilege and the ranking of white life threats. When white people don't get what they want, it causes a tantrum tattled as a threat. People of color are literally frightened for their lives. They cannot do basic things without the worry that a racist person will try to upend their day, or end their lives. So when I wrote Annotation 1 questioning the threat, I do mean - if you're not losing sleep over it, then is it really a threat to you? I can be pissed off about that speeding ticket I got when I was only going 4 miles over the speed limit, but my life wasn't in danger. I didn't lose sleep over it for more than a day or two, and only because of the financial stress of it at the time. If I were anything but white, who knows how that encounter could've gone? The pattern of police brutality and system racism leads me to make the educated guess that I would've been dealing with a bigger fine, a ruder exchange, and potentially an arrest that caused physical harm.
As for Annotation 2, I really struggled with John saying "But it was game day" because it didn't feel that important to me considering the gravity of matters in the city. For me, I kind of felt like it was a no-brainer - the games should've been canceled. It's not like that I say that senseless because I have a business degree and understand that damage that doing something like that can cause in a ripple effect, but I also place stock in my values far more than my profits in any venture. I made my husband turn down the financial gains of working on the wall ordered to be built under Trump's evil regime because I did not want to see personal profits in the name of a racist and hateful act. We're barely middle class and could lose all of the stability we have in a breath, and it would've been easy to say "well, it helps us financially and we need it" and then ignore the message it sends. Even if nobody would have ever known, I couldn't live with that. So even though "it was game day," it was weird to me that it wasn't easier to make the choice to stop the game as the manager. That said, people do need something to be good and pure in their lives to survive the actual hell of knowing that the police who are supposed to protect you could kill you over something that wouldn't even end a friendship on a bad day. Black lives, especially, are ending at the hands of those in power - and not just the police. Systemic racism ends black lives earlier than white lives. Systemic racism and capitalism breeds people of color to work for less money than white people and kills people of color faster because of their lack of access to basic things like health care, child care, and access to equal education. So, maybe it's because of my personal experiences that I don't understand "But it was game day," or maybe my privilege, someone will surely let me know, but I just felt like that wouldn't have been a consideration on my part if I had been presented with the same matter.
Page 95-96, Context & Summary: While discussing Greg's upbringing, drugs are discussed in regards to a neighborhood issue where drug dealing was prevalent. A family had contacted police about it numerous times, but eventually died when their was firebombed a second time - ending the entire family's lives.
Annotation: They aren't wrong to use "war" & "drugs" in the same sentence. They are wrong when they call the drugs the war. They fail to see that drugs are the consequence of war that targets POC [people of color].
Something that I've really become more aware of in the past years is that your class really impacts your exposure to drugs. It was something I was always vaguely aware of, coming from a family that has always been working class at best, seeing that many of my peers were smoking and drinking by the time we were 12 and 13. But still, in this section we learn that Greg started smoking at eight years old. Think about that - let it sink in. Imagine being exposed to smoking as a choice at that age. Statistics prove that neighborhoods where people of color live are poorer overall than their white counterpart neighborhoods. In fact, it's something that this text goes on to address later on in this book about to opposing sides of Baltimore and how one neighborhood sees itself as more-than the other one, despite both being let down by the city and state governments in favor of other projects far less deserving than the dire improvements needed in the impoverished streets of West and East Baltimore. That said, it is important to understand that when you are poor and you need money, you'll do anything to feed your family no matter your age. When your city doesn't give funds to rebuild the streets or get police the training they should have or fund the schools that help kids stay out of drugs and violence, you inevitably turn to the high risk, high reward options - like drug dealing. The war on people of color is causing a side effect where many people of color are stuck in drug dealing neighborhoods or get themselves into drug dealing circles because the money puts food on the table, pays the rent, and gives other siblings and family members the care they need. In many cases, that doesn't even extend to medical care and child care expenses. If the proper funding were provided to low-income neighborhoods to give them the financial support that is needed, many of which are populated by people of color, then more opportunities to break the cycle of exposure would exist and the "war on drugs" would inevitably cease to exist in the way that it is currently portrayed. Another major aspect of the issue pertains to mental health, which is something that the 99% of American don't have access to in any meaningful amount, worse so for people of color who already are more likely to suffer from poverty as the result of the system racism present in our nation's government structures.
Pages 105-107, Context & Summary: In this chapter dedicated to Nick, is one where he and his wife are watching the newscast put out by the mayor addressing the riots in the city. Nick analyzes the language used as well as the actions taken.
Annotation: Reality is not as unpredictable as we think. It is a series of actions & consequences. Nothing happens in a vacuum - not even a black hole.
Firstly, somewhere else in the text mentions events happening "in a vacuum" and I could not for the life of me find it, so I don't want to claim any credit for the phrase in application because it is not wholly mine. Secondly, the phrase did move me greatly. It is true. Nothing happens overnight, not truly. There are always signs and warnings when things are changing, it's just that we as humans are programmed to recognize patterns, and negative things do not always follow a pattern. There is no rhyme or reason to senseless racism and prejudice. Something we hear often regarding news about violent crime is that "this is only the bad news" and "it's more likely that [x or y] will happen to you than this violent crime." The narrative indicates that things like racism and xenophobia and sexism are isolated issues that only happen in isolated places. However, we eventually notice a pattern of repetition. When there's news about it, specifically in this text regarding police brutality, then it becomes clear that - no - this is not rare. This is not uncommon. Nothing happens overnight. Not racism. Not sexism. Not prejudice, xenophobia, or hate. It simmers and then it boils. We ignore it until we can't ignore it. And that's why these problems exist.
Page 131: "The only way she was going to unearth the truth was to unearth her brother's body."
Context: When Tawanda was shown her brother's body, it was dressed and presented her as "looking good" despite clear and flagrant efforts to hide the attacks against her brother prior to his death. It explores how deeply wrong it felt for the lies to be validated with an autopsy that supported the police claims that her brother died from other issues unrelated to his arrest.
Annotation: What's good for the goose is good for the gander. We are always told to get a second opinion in matters of living - but what about matters of death? Trust no one person so wholly that you let the truth be lost.
I wanted to skip past this and focus on the racial topics, and this does address racial issues in that the cause of death was being covered up, but I do feel this spans further than just racial issues. The way American health care and health culture currently exists, second opinions cost extra money and extra time that many people cannot afford. In fact, most people are like me - they can't afford even a first opinion. And I'm a white woman with two different health insurances (that I do pay greatly for, by the way, at the cost of almost half of my mortgage payment because of a sexist union rule pertaining to spouses and health insurance). So, just, like, in general? Whenever you want a second opinion on something it's typically related to living vs. dying and quality of living related to finances. If a second opinion is good enough for the roofing services on your house, or the babysitter you're paying for your kids, then it's good enough for your autopsies. If you suspect something is amiss in the deaths of your loved ones, get a second opinion. It doesn't change the loss, but it answers questions that you need to have to live on in peace.
Page 135: "Until that April Monday in 2015, that was the only time she'd ever heard anything about a 'purge,' and it was from the mouth of a law enforcement officer."
Context: One of the events that was expected to transpire during the Baltimore riots was a purge, loosely based on the events from the film of the same name. The attorney, Jenny, hadn't known of the term at the time and was working to make herself aware of the events that she was going to be defending against with her team of volunteer staff aiming to keep children and people of color out of jail for the inevitable wrongful arrests.
Annotation: The scariest thing about "The Purge" is that it could actually happen - and that makes you wonder - who can you get on your side of history?
This is just a general fear that I have regarding the concept of a purge - of a one day of no bars, everything is legal chaos. I fear for myself and my family, but I fear for the hate that would become painfully obvious. I live in a place filled to the brim with Christianity and kindness, but this same place has "Trump is the Savior" flags & posters that hosted Trump rallies on the main street at the disruption of traffic (no consequences to my knowledge, by the way). It scares me what would happen to people of color and impoverished people. It makes me wonder if I've done enough to prove that I wish to do good and be an ally. It's a fictionality to many, but to so many more - the idea of things is far too real. Seeing the hate and the chaos that is becoming the social climate and political arena, something like this feels like more than a nightmare - it feels like a boogieman waiting in the shadows.
Page 156: "Jenny's stomach dropped and her eyes burned with tears. He was right. That's exactly what she thought. Her mind had betrayed her heart, and he'd called her out on it."
Page 157: "The boy reminded her how fragile that standing can be."
Context: Jenny is an attorney that is volunteering to help deal with the arrests from the riots and ensuring that nobody is wrongfully arrested, charged, detained, etc. This also requires her to be out in the field taking notes about the events taking place so that the team can be knowledgeable first-hand what was occurring. When people were being picked up. She dropped her phone and a young man of color picked it up. She shouted at him that it was her phone and the boy pointed out that he knew it was her phone and that she assumed he was going to take off with it.
Annotation: Everyone makes goofs - and we need each other to learn from them so they aren't forever.
A few years back I saw a post on Tumblr about how someone's parent told them "You aren't your first thought. It is what you think next that defines you." Or at least it was something to that effect. I have worked hard to check in on my thoughts when I see different people and pay attention to the first versus the second thought. If I look at someone and catch a negative thought, I got in the habit of reminding myself that this is an assumption based on biases nurtured by the people around me growing up. The only reason I've been able to become a better person is seeing people called out and being called out myself for hurtful thinking and behaviors. On some days, I think I don't deserve those people in my life to correct and teach me, but most days I'm just thankful that these people were comfortable and empowered to call me out on my bullshit. It hurts because I've always wanted to be a good person that helps other people and knowing that I wasn't always as great at it as I would've hoped sucks. It's going to be a long time before white people are able to fully escape the privileges that America has given them innately by the structures that exist, but it will take equally as long for people of color to overcome the learned fear of law enforcement officials and white supremacy. These things are learned and they cannot be unlearned if we do not teach each other how to be better. I would say of anything in this book, this is the one that sticks with me the most, because I want people to help me better and educate me so that I can be a good ally. Like it said - try as I might to do good, my mind may betray my heart unbeknownst to me, and I should be told to be better when it happens.
Pages 165-167, Context & Summary: Partee is a chief of police and he is discussing the challenges of law enforcement during the riots. He is challenged when he considers tazing someone during his work out in the thick of it.
Annotation: Inaction is self-preservation - and it usually suffocates you in privilege or drowns you in complacency.
Over the years, I've stopped placing value in neutrality as far as political matters are concerned. Too often we are taught by our elders, people that we respect, that there are certain topics that you just don't openly discuss with other people and save for private conversations that are limited to your most trusted companions. In many cases, it's restricted to professionals and specialists of the topic you are trying to discuss. Things like politics, menstruation, sex, and more are taboo topics. The problem with politics being off limits for casual conversation is that women's health, racism, sexism, and prejudice are currently considered controversial topics in politics. Being neutral or presenting as neutral is hurtful to the progress of the nation and the eradication of ridiculous and unnecessary barriers to basic rights. It is absolutely obnoxious to make politics an off limits topic because it enables the garbage system that prevents people from having equal access to basic rights. It is also ridiculous because of the fact that there is a very disproportionate amount of white men in political chairs all over the country making decisions for classes of people that don't understand or flat out don't like because they, themselves, are racist assholes. Neutrality is a statement, and it sends one of two messages. Firstly, it could mean that you stand against the topic at hand; or, secondly, it could mean that you don't want anyone to know that you stand with the topic at hand. For a long time, I bought into it, and I kept my politics off of social media and refused to talk about it with family even if they brought it up. But I started to question it because some of these topics shouldn't be controversial or political. Why the fuck should white men decide the fate of black communities without every having seen what those people are dealing with? Why should wealthy white people decide on immigration laws without ever having learned what immigrants have to go through to be here legally? Too often it is the case that lives are being decided by people who have never had to hurt or worry the way communities of color have to hurt and worry daily. Too often when people of color get into political roles they are questioned, demonized, questioned, and radicalized for simply pushing for equal access to basic needs. It is disgusting, and my annotation reflects how angry the matter of neutrality now makes me having come to understand the damage that it causes to serious matters that affect the lives of people who deserve better that this country is offering them.
Page 178: "But he leaned back, shut his eyes, and prepared for the long road ahead, grateful to be a black man who attempted to flee police and lived to tell about it."
Context: Greg was involved in the riots actively, known as the man wearing the gas mask in many images that circulated from the events that took place in Baltimore during those five days. He was arrested after he fled them when he was caught walking out of a an abandoned convenience store searching for cigarettes from the rubble.
Annotation: We are defined by our persistence to live the values we claim to be the moral integrity of our person. We either grow with or shackle others - only one of those practices brings prosperity and justice.
The quote and the annotation don't initially look like they correlate, but do stick it out with me on this one. Greg was pushed to be a part of the riots because of all the ways he was pushed down and treated poorly for being a man of color from a family torn apart by drugs that suffered from extreme poverty. At the time, he thought he was doing the right thing to live the ideals that he had - which were that the police were being shown the consequences of their brutality on the black population in Baltimore, and the country. Even though Greg went on to struggle with legal matters for some years after these events, he did try to become better and live the morals he had and tackle the issues of police brutality on black people. As for the second part of my annotation, regardless of how we are living out the morals and values that we say define us, there are only two outcomes of living those values - ones where we make things better and ones where we make things worse. It would be easy to say "eye for an eye" and solve violence with violence, but it is similar to punishing a kid who is hitting other kids by hitting them. It only trains us to believe that violence to solve violence. It is harder to fight for accountability in others and in ourselves, especially if nobody is watching. We see this in Tawanda's story a lot where she gets frustrated and angry that Freddie's death brought on a riot while her brother's didn't even result in anything at all for anyone but herself and Tyrone's family. When nobody is watching to hold you responsible for the things that you do, how likely are you to remain true to your word? When you are shrouded in shadows, are you doing the right thing? Nobody is perfect, but murder is not an easy mistake to make. Our persistence to live the values and morals that define us goes only as far as we will uphold it, even when there's not an audience.
Page 183: "Listening to Ms. Gloria, he now realized that Malik had meant they wouldn't burn the Bake because Malik wouldn't allow it. Anthony listened in satisfaction. It wasn't simply that his young people had protected his business; it was that he knew their commitment to Shake & Bake was a return on what he had invested in those young people, in his community."
Context: Anthony owns and runs Shake & Bake along the main strip just on the edge of West Baltimore and it's a skating rink that loads of kids go to hang out. Anthony uses it is as way to connect with kids and works to keep the kids off the streets and out of illegal activities like drug dealing and gangs.
Annotation: Invest not in currency, but in kindness, for it is people who care for you in your dying days.
People will do good in many cases when you trust them to it. If I have learned nothing from working with kids and the mentally ill populations in this world, it is that people are often wired to do the right thing. The skewed perspective on it often comes from our personal experiences. To a poor black teenage boy, feeding his family at any cost will likely be the right thing to do in his mind as he watches his siblings starve while his mom walks three jobs to keep a roof over their heads. To a rich white teenage boy, the right thing to do looks like joining a bunch of clubs to learn who he is going to be so he doesn't rely on his parent's wealth to be successful. In the case of this event, Anthony invested goodness into these kids and they returned that kindness when Anthony needed it most. Investing in people rather than businesses and profits can go a long way. Equally, investing in values is another way to ensure that you get a genuine return on your dividend. We see it all the time, really, more than we realize. For example, with Councilperson Ocasio-Cortez, or AOC. When she was be trashed on Twitter, members of the K-Pop music fandom and others, worked to drown out the negativity by hijacking the thread. This same courtesy was not extended to Marilyn Manson as allegations of sexual assault and worse surfaced about him. Kind people invest in others who are kind in return. You fair far better when people are on your side in life, and you won't have many people on your side if you don't make them believe you care. Anthony did that and it paid off.
Pages 195-201, Context & Summary: Jenny reflects on why she got into this work and some of the situations that impacted her, such as a case where a man named George spent 37 years in prison for a crime he didn't commit. Jenny focuses her efforts on children because they lose so much in their lives because of racial profiling by law enforcement.
Annotation: Even prisons make a profit in America. Stop calling life here a dream - unless you are white; it wasn't designed to work for you [otherwise].
My annotation sounds very hateful and disparaging, and I'm constantly teetering on whether or not to feel bad about it or stand by it. There's a lot wrong in America and it sometimes bothers me that people want to come here with the knowledge that police brutality runs rampant across the country, that communities of color are more likely to remain in generational poverty, and that any religion other than Christianity is looked down upon as violent or wrong. It is horrifying to me that this life would be a considered a dream. We don't have equal access to health care and classism is horrifyingly obvious without consequence. But then I think - it must be worse elsewhere for people to want to be here. At the very core of my thought, though, is this: equality is not achieved in America, and it is therefore only offering a dream if you are born with the privileges to chase after it. Yes, there are people who were rags-to-riches successful in life, but they struggled a great deal and would never wish that upon anyone else. When you've been poor, when you've been profiled, when you've been attacked, and when you've lost because of your religion, skin, or class - you don't ever want someone else to suffer how you've suffer. Unless, of course, as seen in the riots of this book and those seen since then, the suffering becomes too much to bear. And, please help me understand, how a first-world country has allowed such suffering to last for so long that thousands of people see rioting as the only solution? I don't see that as a dream. I see that as a nightmare.
Thoughts between Tuesday April 28 & Wednesday April 29. I didn't reference a specific quote because I started sharing thought between each day of the riots. So, we are heading into the final day of the riots when I wrote this annotation.
Annotation: It is inherently racist that discussing matters of race is considered controversial enough to sway & impact political conversations. We are profiting off the backs of people of color who ultimately suffer at the hands of a system built during an era that saw them as currency or commodity - that system still exists today! Systemic racism flows through the veins of this country and it may need to bled out through a revolution if those in power resist & refuse necessary restructuring.
I have long complained that certain topics do not deserve to be considered "policy" and "political" because they are guaranteed human rights. Women's health care? That's not a policy if you want to deny it - that's just an asshole move to exercise control over women's bodies. Equal rights for people of color, including appropriate representation and funding to communities of color? That. is. not. policy. That. is. racism. Efforts to continue restricting access and funds to places where people of color are the primary population, or efforts to question voting results in communities where people of color make up the majority of the population, is not a political move. Those are the efforts of white supremacists trying to maintain their power. Elsewhere in the book I commented that people in power exercise their power toe prevent the people that could stand against from rising up because they don't want to lose their privileges, but passion is powerful in ways privileged politicians don't understand. When I wrote this annotation, I was thinking of exactly these issues. Systemic racism is not going to go away unless we make it. Whether that means continuing to vote compassionate human beings of all races, religions, and classes into power in our government, or seeing a revolution turn from embers to flames in a forced change, a restructure to our government in America is needed. The worst past is that there are people who would read these words and consider me a radical for thinking this way. There are people who think that equality across races, genders, sexualities, and religious faiths (or lack thereof) is a liberal concept and not a common decency one.
Page 211: "But the sergeant made it very clear to him that the state officers would be taking over the real work from there."
Context: Partee was a chief officer and had been actively involved with the riots from the first to the last day, but at one point in time stood up to his superior because of a disagreement about how matters were being handled. Partee was expecting a promotion soon, but was actually demoted and not able to do the work he wanted to do in the final day of the riots because of the disagreement and willingness to stand up for what he thought needed to be said.
Annotation: Unfortunately, law enforcement requires more submission than autonomy, and you are only as valuable as the knees you rest on.
I was enraged by this. At times I found it very difficult to read Partee's perspective as a law enforcement officer because it just felt - off? I don't know. He was very serious about his work and he loved it, but after he stood up to his superior it finally clicked for me how important it was to see his emotional experience throughout, and shame on me for struggling to feel connected to his narrative. When it was revealed that he wasn't able to do the actual work he wanted to do, I rolled my eyes hard and put my book down. How ridiculous, but unsurprising. Police are often hailed with the same reverence as members of the military and it's many factions. And the reality is, submission is required for trainees for the military, national guard, navy, air force, etc. The same is utilized in in police training, but that means any one person who varies from the expected synonymous behaviors and actions is an outsider. If someone thinks beyond what is permitted, then that person is a threat to the order. Partee became a threat and they eliminated it. Several times reading his perspective throughout the text I asked myself - would the same experiences be true for Partee if he were white. I couldn't help but ask myself that question over and over and over again. But the reality is just that - you are only as valuable as your willingness to submit to the norm. It is a disgusting truth that needs dismantled desperately.
Page 232: "She instructed them to be louder, to never stop demanding justice. For one man. Unarmed."
Context: These are the final words from the text's main narrative, ahead of the epilogue that shares where everyone ended up after the events of the riots. This is Tawanda's section where she finds that she is no longer alone on her Wednesday protests. She doesn't consider herself a "natural activist" and just wants to bring justice to the world that is long overdue, even after finally proving her brother was killed at the hands of the police officers arresting him. The criminal case did not proceed, but a civil settlement was awarded to her brother's children, showing that she was able to prove that she wasn't wrong to question the manner of his death and that she was right to keep protesting in his name.
Annotation: Never stop standing up for that which you know is right and just for you are not along in your beliefs, but rather stronger for voicing it against the grain.
Throughout the book, I always felt so connected to Tawanda, mostly perhaps because I hope to be as persistent and true to my values as she is as a person. Despite her feelings of rage and betrayal and sorrow, she always strived to do the right thing in the right way. She wasn't trained, she wasn't privileged, she didn't have a business at stake, and she wasn't in a cycle of legal woes. Tawanda was just a teacher and a sister mourning the wrongful death of her brother who was a target of circumstance. She continued to rally for other people who lost family members and wanted to see change for their families who weren't lost yet (and hopefully never). When I put this annotation on paper, it was a reminder and a salute simultaneously. Tawanda never stopped believing and searching for the truth, and I hope to always fulfill a similar role by helping people understand issues of not just racism but sexism, classism, and prejudice towards anyone who is unfamiliar. We should always stand up for our views, especially when those views could make someone else's life better. We all have the voices to stand up for the things we believe in, even if we're not "natural activists."
This was such a long post, so much more so than I had expected, but I felt the need to share my annotations and work through them in writing. If anyone has more to say, or more context to provide, or anything educational to share, I'm always looking for ways to be better as a person and as ally to eliminate the racism I had to fight to unlearn and have to fight to squash out every day, but I can only be as good as my knowledge and awareness expands.
I hope that you know your life matters me.
Always,
ab
Comentarios